hovering

Is it just me or are parents everywhere with their kids now?  I mean, everywhere.  Kids don't get dropped off (mine don't until about 16 years old), & we stay with them wherever they are.  Maybe in the shadows, maybe not embarrassing them, but we're there...and I've noticed lots of other parents lurking in the dark with me.

I remember being able to run around B-Town pretty safely...telling mom & dad where we were going & it being cool.  I'm afraid to let my kids do that...is it because our town has gotten so much bigger?  Because there are more people?

I miss the days of running around to the same few places we could go...I know it's not just me.  Brandon has gotten too big - I say we tell developers to suck a big fat dick and go away.

A little late for that now, though.  They've ruined what was a smallER town. I drive around and hardly recognize it.

Makes me wanna take a back road................

fall

My favorite time of the year is fall.  I love it.  It's been affected by the loss of our dad three years ago, and our miscarriage.  We'd be celebrating a one year old about now.  Well, about a month ago.  But, we'd have a baby in the house laughing and maybe distracting me.

Whoever said time makes the hurt less lied.  It hurts as bad today as it did - dad, my granny, the miscarriage, all of it.  I do feel stronger, but the hurt is just as much.  Easier to smile - yes.  Easier to celebrate other pregnancies - yes.  But it still hurts.

Going to embrace this fall and LOVE the shit out of it!  I should and I can!

the weekly happenings of amanda paige

Get period five days early - check.

Pads in bathroom cabinet - check.

Tampons in bathroom cabinet - check.

Pat self on back for having items stocked - check.

Have a period induced chili dog dinner with chips & peanut butter M&M's 2 nights ago- check.

Bunco last night - check.

Don't win shit at Bunco - check.

Feel bad about hot dog, chips, & M&M's - check.

Work out - check.

Dinner with bestie - check.

Restart dryer - check.

Question most things I do - check.

Wonder if clean towels will fold themselves - check.

Consider couponing - check.

Decide I don't have time for that - check.

Pinterest - check.

Movie with husband - check.

in everything

In everything, I see what I am.
In everything, I see what I'm not.
In everything, I question what
We all question, we admit it or not

I watch too much
Others' lives
I listen to much
That isn't mine

Small steps back
What matters most
Time to hug and kiss that ghost

Goodbye, I deserve to stand
Up and smile and
Embrace my hand

Because my hand is a winner