brrrumm brrummm bruummbrumbrummmbrumbrrrum!

So little man joined the band at our middle school.  He picked percussion, passed the percussion test last week, and today we went to Roydon Music to rent a percussion kit for him, as well as the two books on the list.  Had to get the instrument and the books, and a name tag, according to the paperwork I brought with me from the middle school parent information band meeting a few nights ago.  Band is new to me - Rachel did chorus in elementary school & middle school, doesn't do it in high school...and Chloe is in chorus in elementary school this year.  Brendan has never participated in anything musical.  Band is new to me.  I don't play an instrument.  My husband played a horn, not sure which one, at his middle school and/or high school.  So I dragged him along with me, David, and Rachel to Roydon Music to figure it out.  Chloe was at her bff's house on play date.  Brendan is with his mom this weekend.

Turns out renting an instrument from now 'till May/June would cost us about $180.  They sold us a rental turn in for $220.  So we are now proud owners of a percussion kit, including snare drum.  Guess what I listened to for two hours after we purchased the kit?  Most of it was Daddy, not David.  But it's cool.

After that, went to Advanced Auto Store, is that the name?  The place where you buy auto parts yourself.  Taillight and blinker out on rear right side on van.  Stephen checked fuses, they're good, so he bought a bulb for it.  Then home to have lunch & watch Hallmark movies while Rachel cleaned her room to get ready to go to her bff's house for a party/sleepover.

Of course, Rachel wanted to drive.  Nope, didn't fix taillight yet.  Sorry, my beautiful daughter.  I get enough "turn your fucking blinker on" looks from drivers myself, not putting you in that position.  Hope to have it replaced tomorrow.  She gets to meet bff's boyfriend tonight.  She is THRILLED.   Hope she doesn't embarrass Kirsten TOO much.

Saw my bestie, got my Saturday hug from bestie (my bestie is Rachel's bff's mom), and headed to Publix.  My Saturdays are SO exciting.  Stephen not feeling well, so grabbed an easy dinner, came home, and now he's watching a Batman movie while I just tucked in little man & baby girl.  Will do cheese, sausage, & crackers in a few with him while we watch another movie.  Just couldn't get into this Batman movie.  Not sure why.  Probably because I self analyze and my brain works in overdrive constantly.  Can't just sit and enjoy a movie.  Hoping another glass of Pinot Grigio will help me watch the next one...

So there it is...my Saturday.  Tomorrow will be equally as exciting.

homecoming

Rachel is off to her first high school dance.  Homecoming of her junior year.  What a night!  I hope she's having a great time.  I can't believe she's a junior in high school.............sounds cliche, but for reals........where DOES the time go??  What???

Got me remembering the only Homecoming dance I went to.  My senior year, my date took me to the dance, which was at our high school.  Not at some really expensive venue like they are now.  Our prom, that was off campus, but homecoming was on campus.  Anyway, he took me to the dance, then to dinner at the Colonnade, which is special to me for other very special reasons.  I remember heading home, my parents had just bought this 1991 Saturn, and I was driving it, and we triggered the alarm somehow, and I didn't know how to turn it off.  We drove from South Tampa, across the Crosstown, to Valrico with the alarm going.  Fortunately, the car started.  For thirty minutes of driving, the alarm was BLARING.  Got home, and woke my parents up.  Memories.

So, waiting on a limo driver who looks VERY much like Ranjit from "How I Met Your Mother" to bring five teenagers back to our house around midnight...nice guy.  His name is Tom.  That was strange.  Looks like Ranjit...name is Tom............never mind.

My stepson was anxiously waiting for the arrival of four teenage girls, not his sister, of course, to come to our house.  I think he hung as long as he could.  He took his comforter out of the dryer and headed to bed.  MAYBE I'll show him pictures.

Tomorrow morning my most favorite 16 year old & I are headed to the Sarasota area to camp with her Girl Scouts troop.  I CANNOT WAIT.

cookie dough is evil, i tell you!

If I don't see cookie dough for a long, long while, it will make me a happy Mandy.  Our middle school PTSA chose this as our fundraiser, and over the summer I was a last minute "Fine, I'll help with PTSA, what do you need?".  They needed a VP of Fundraising.  Cookie dough can officially kiss my ass.

My bestie was with me every step of it, though, and I love her!  I know she and I both needed that pickup at Mickey D's this morning.  Not the healthy breakfast I needed, but the coffee & girl time I needed.  As soon as the last of the cookie dough is off of the middle school campus, I will take her out for dinner and drinks!

Ate like a pig today, but that's okay.  Won't happen tomorrow.  Calories from Pinot Grigio are way better than food anyway.

Oldest teenager is at high school homecoming game...Daddy is on his way to pick her up.   Tomorrow is the homecoming dance.  My beautiful girl is going to look so amazing...and she is going in a limo!  There was a presentation about not texting and driving, and the students took a pledge to not text and drive, and entered a contest to win a limo ride, and she won!  Her first big dance and she's going in all Valrico fabulousness.  Carrabba's, limo with four of her friends, dance, and home...I can't wait to watch her smile!

Then Saturday we head down toward Sarasota for Girl Scouts camping and bridging...I definitely can't wait for that!  I wonder if I can smuggle a bottle of wine...just joking.

self awareness or self criticizing?

The difference between self awareness and self criticizing is subtle.  And a quest to figure out why I'm hard on myself is a scary proposition.

I constantly "self search"...if you want to call it that.  That is, I am consistently trying to figure out why I'm hard on myself.  I have learned that I set myself up for failure at times, and even while manipulating variables and knowing that's what's going to happen, I let it happen anyway.  Then I spend the next several hours or days judging myself.  I haven't  yet figured out why.  In some ways, I think of it as self abuse, and again...I don't know why.

Growing up was wonderful.  Great childhood, amazing parents...yet the self abuse began pretty early.  Too many examples to list, but I can tell you that it went from flat out abuse to more passive aggressive abuse.  Healthier, I might interject...if that makes sense.  If it's not blatant, it's not as bad, that's what I tell myself anyway.

I'm becoming aware that I struggle with much more than day to day stress...and I treat it insanely at times.  Don't get me wrong, it's not every second of my days, but it is quite a lot.  Scary.  I look around at the blessings everywhere in my life, and still struggle.  Why is that?  At what point do I become okay with absolutely every part of this beautiful life?

I've been told depression, I've been told hormones...the feeling of frustration is hard to put into words...I will do the best I can...I know I have a wonderful life, and blessings all around.  So why blue?  That is very frustrating.  Especially in a world with people experiencing real problems.

There's my personal share today.  I'm not crazy...at least I don't think so.  Maybe I'm normal.

an education

Took my oldest daughter to the doctor a couple of days ago for a checkup, and she made me laugh.  Out loud.  Really loud.  She does this a lot.  Had to share.

She is 16 years old.  So, we still go to the pediatrician.  Which she finds stupefying and absurd.  But, there we were.  Got her weighed, got her height, got her temp...waited on our favorite pediatrician.  While waiting in the little room decorated with cartoonish tools, very Bob The Builder'ish, my daughter, taller than me, leans over to a poster on the wall showing the four food groups.  In fact, while we were updating her information, we had to answer "Do you eat from the four food groups?"...while answering that, she looked at me and said, "There's five".  I said, "No, they changed it".  She sighed.  

Fast forward, looking at poster.  She said, "This is NOT right.  It doesn't include fats.  Fats are critical to the human body.  Healthy fats, of course, but they are critical.  But they include dairy?  Dairy isn't even necessary!  We can get the nutrients that dairy provides from all of these other sources!".  I laughed so hard.  She wanted the pyramid.  Me, too.  Times they are a changing.  

Hope you're eating from all five tonight.  

coffee, workout, teeth, & storms

I woke up to remember that we're out of coffee.  I groaned.  Did the first two school drop offs, which took longer than normal, then hit Dunkin Donuts for a large coffee with cream and sugar.  Came back, got little man, dropped him off, went to the Y and walked for 40 minutes, which felt great by the way.  An older man, probably in his 60's, got on the treadmill beside me and rooted me on.  He told me I was making him up his pace.  What a friendly man!  Stephen would accuse him of flirting, but I don't care...I still got it with the silver sneakers.  *shakes hips and blows kiss*  I love how people can be what we should be...friendly, encouraging...  Then headed to the high school to get the oldest teenager and take her for her dental checkup.  No cavities...  *whew*  My kids' oral hygiene leaves a lot to be wished for...they brush their teeth, but by the end of the day they have dragons on their breath.  Did carlines...drove through what should've been a tropical storm, watched lightning hit a small pond in the hood, screamed, got a look from little man that I'm such a girl, came home still stinking of the Y.  Took a shower and declared that I was ordering Chinese food.  Don't judge.

Off to eat some fried rice, egg drop soup, & General Tsao's chicken.  Good thing I went to the Y.

carline hotties??

I haven't worked out in over a month.  This is not acceptable.  Hitting the YMCA tomorrow.  Indeed.  I have another genius plan...twirling mustache...carline workouts.  We sit in it long enough anyway.  How about this...hit WalMart or Costco or Sam's or wherever you buy your big load of milk and laundry detergent.  Picture me, outside the Turnermobile, lifting milk & laundry detergent like weights.  Doing squats, doing jumping jacks, blaring my radio.  Can I get a what what??  Do you think if I advertise this through our PTA I could get a bunch of parents to participate?  We could easily burn hundreds of calories in the 30 - 35 minutes many people sit there.  No hoochie workout clothes, though, please.  I don't need to see that...

So, since my last blog September 21, what have I been up to?  Well...carline.  Friends' babies' birthday party, friends' parties, friends' birthday parties, recovering from unnecessary shots at parties, and chauffering my family.  Cousin broke up with his girlfriend (I was the glue, I tell you, the GLUE to him starting to recover...well, okay, maybe it was his own hard work), now cousin giving it another chance.  I'll be there for him again, and always.  Bunco...which is always fun.  Screamed Bunco even when I didn't have one, cuz' that's how I roll.  Went to a garden festival with my mom and my baby girl...that was uber fun.  Very educational.  Hot as shit outside, but when isn't it in west central Florida?  Yes, you guessed it!  Mid January to March/April!  Dingdingdingding, we have a winner!  So, as anticipated, I sweated my ass off at that, but it was fun and educational.  Started the wrap up of the fundraiser at the middle school..........THANK GOODNESS.  I officially broke up with fundraisers, which is a big step for me.  Then I volunteered to be the magazine & nut sales mom for Girl Scouts...what the hell is my problem?  I'm beginning to think I don't like me.  Entered contest to win trip to see GNR in Las Vegas.  Wrote letter to Axl Rose's manager asking to pleasepleaseplease get tickets to see GNR in Las Vegas with bestie.  Celebrated my husband's 37th birthday.  Bacon cheeseburgers & Turner brownie earthquakes.  Read a friend's blog, loved it.  Doctor appointments.  And, tonight, roasted chicken, made pasta with pesto, and peas, and will think about watching the presidential debate.  Not really a debate, they're leaving out a candidate.  So, I probably won't watch.

As you can see, this life is a crazy life.  A life I love...  If you're reading, let me know for reals what you think about carline workouts...maybe we can get featured on Channel 8.  ;)