So I put on smiles, it's okay, I know it's not my fault, I know it's not that uncommon. I fooled myself, I fooled you all...it's not okay. I am not doing okay with it. It's sad and it hurts and I feel a loss and I feel broken. It hurts to see babies. For months now I've felt like if I feel sad or stay in the sadness, it's like I don't appreciate what I have. But that's just not true. I love what I have, I love my family, I know I'm blessed. But I also want to cry and not be okay about the loss of a pregnancy.
Embracing my tummy, smile so big
Trying so hard, they finally smile and gasp
Happiness and hope, already loved so much
Deflated, defeated, broken
Seemingly in one breath
White coat consoling
Leave me alone
Growth and life all around her, all the time
And it has muted color to her now
Reach within to pull sanity back, please
Please.
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