If there's one thing I can say over and over to my kids, to any kids, it's to get the best education they can and be the best them they can be. I think I'm a great mom, I love my kids more than anything in the world, and now I'm in a position where financially I can't care for any of us...love is the most important, but the reality is that education and financial responsibility are very important, too.
I understand now why my parents wanted my sister and I to finish college...at the time, I thought they were being outrageous and controlling...now I know they wanted us to be able to thrive, and in order to do that, you have to take care of yourself - body, mind, spirit...always challenge yourself. I feel like I disappointed them, and though I know their love is endless, I sure wish I'd listened a little closer.
How many other things have I yet to discover my mama and dad were right about? That thought is a little scary...if you know me, you know I've tested many lines. All this wisdom we have now, and always they'll have so much more. I miss my dad so much, and that's probably one of the reasons - I want to know what more he could've taught me and shown me. Having my mama for that makes me happy, though, and I'm happy and blessed every day to have her.
As with all things in life that make us smile, things we are so glad we have, people we are so glad to love, I'm learning every day to smile because it happened instead of being sad that it's gone. Smile because I learned a lesson, not be sad because I didn't finish college. Smile because I'm ONLY 41, not be sad because I feel too old. Life has a way of being...well...life. We're all in this together, and none of us are without struggles and pain.
So, today, this 41 year old is looking for work...and thinking about finishing college. And doing it for herself. Because I think that was the lesson.
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