this i know

A brief status update on facebook reminded me......this I know.  Know what I know?  About me?  Of course you don't.  You're not me, and you're not Stephen, who knows me better than I do.  This I know - I want to be a traveler.  A constant traveler.  And appreciator.  And lover.  And wohh wooooo woooohh watch out, a touch and feel and smell and smile and enjoyer.  This I know.

I picture me, and you can feel free to picture me as well, traveling.  With the love of my life.  Me and Stephen, traveling.  Appreciating.  Loving.  Touching.  Feeling.  Smelling.  Enjoying.

I go places, and I like to think, as local as they are, that I appreciate them in a different way than most.  Not pretentious, no.  Genuine.  Touch.  Feel.  Smell.  All that.  My home is my home, I can touch Florida oak and sunshine and water and I know what  I touch.  Occasionally I'm reminded of how FORTUNATE my sister and I were growing up to see so much of our beautiful country and appreciate it.  And, of course, other sights, like Guns N' Roses, Tom Petty, & Ozzy............sights for sure.  In addition to many others.

So..........my life is pretty cool.  Do what I do, meet people that do what I do AND do other things..........reconnect with high school fo' sho's and kindahungwith's............and full speed into adult life.  My adult life?  It's pretty cool.  Jesus, thank you.  THANK YOU.  <3

we're off!

And we're off!  Been awhile since blogging, summer is a summering away.  After a week of swimming at mom's & going to my sissy's, I relaxed & consumed myself, wholly, in SEVERAL books.  Don't ask.  Stephen wondered where the hell I was for days.  Giggles.  In a book, in a book....relax.  Me and a good book are dangerous...I love to read and don't take the time that I should.  Summer seems an appropriate time.

Beach today, north west of here...not our normal spot, but it was fun!  Well, I had fun.  And Chloe had fun.  The teenagers & the tween did their fair share of complaining - suck it up, kiddos...family fun is mandatory.  You can sit and bitch, but you'll do it in the sun with a sandwich, a Gatorade, and a fake smile.  ;)

This weekend is a PTA training....a startling reminder that school starts in about five weeks.  Ouch.  The emails are pouring in regarding school stuff, the hair on my neck bristling thinking about supplies & clothes...can't we just get some Vitamin D & smell of sunscreen?  Oh summer, please draw out your love...

Have had some somber moments since my last entry...but I won't dwell on those.  Part of life.  And all that.  However, my smile is on.  Even the word smile is drawing  ;)

long, hot, & looking for deals

Summer, well school summer, is about 10 weeks long.  This mama is looking for deals...free shit to do with my four kids.  Money is tight, wallet is talking.  Any ideas, send them to me!  Otherwise, look for us at Medard Park, Lithia Springs, the library, the beach, & my mom's house.

Looking at family's & friends' pictures tonight, I'm reminded to not compare.  Our family fun is ours.  Watch out, Turner Clan, we're going to have a great summer!  :)  Avengers today, and that was fun!  Girl Scouts day camp and basketball day camp done, and I'm proud of my kids for completing both. Instead of picturing eight more weeks of figuring out what to do, we'll enjoy the what to do.  Right?  Even the figuring it out - we'll enjoy it!  Money seems to demand of all of us - spend me, make me, use me...well, money, you can kiss my ass.  My slowly decreasing ass, thank you YMCA.  ;)  Money - bite me.  Turners are strong and know how to have fun without you.  Bite me!

Closing my eyes, picturing beach, ice cream, sleeping in...Florida summers rule.  Here we come!

happy father's day

Happy Father's Day to my husband, Stephen.  The best husband and father in the world.  You are the world to me and I am so fortunate that you are our children's father.  We slept late a little, and you got our cheesy gift.  Blender to make smoothies.  Protein smoothies to be precise.  And you better!  We're on a roll.......we're rockstars and we got this.  Our deeply intensive, kickass, and painful workouts deserve a Stephen modified protein smoothie.  I love you.  The handmade cards from the kids were a bonus.  YOU ARE LOVED!

Happy Father's Day to my dad.  I didn't think that at 38 years old I'd be two years into Father's Days without my dad here.  Let me say, to everybody whose dad is here, SPOIL YOUR DADS.  Spoil your parents.  They are to be loved and cherished and treasured.  I talk to my dad daily, but he's not here.  It makes me sad, very sad.  The love is there, the relationship is there, but I miss my dad.  My kids miss their Da.  We drove an hour today to the cemetery, and the whole time I was rushing myself to think, this time I'm not going to be a mess. This time I'm not going to boohoo.  But I did.  Of course I did.  Buying flowers on the way to see my dad?  At the Florida National Cemetery?  What?  No.  But yes.  Dad, I miss you so much, and I sometimes am still in the "it's not fair".  But I heard you today.  I love you.  My heart is overwhelmed with love for you and mom.  Thank you for the hard lessons, the love, the forward gear.  Thank you for ALWAYS loving me.  For never messing up.  For always wanting the best for us.  I look for you always, and I see you when I need you.   I love you.

roots

Home from a much too quick trip to Alabama for our family reunion.  Second time there since Granny passed away, and it's so strange to me to go there and know we're not going to see her.  Got me thinking...about where we come from, if our ancestors loved us already before they knew us.  I know I think about things like that.  I hope I leave a legacy of love and I hope my great great great grandchildren know I love them.  Roots are incredibly powerful.  So strong many times, and thirsty...always growing and reaching.  Their goal to grow and expand what they've created.  I look at my features...my eyes, ears, hands...and wonder what piece of who did that come from.  I look at my children's features, and I see me in them, and I see Stephen in them, and I wonder...who else?  Stewarts love to say "our roots run deep"...they sure do.  Our family is so large, and when we all come together, I see so much love between all of us.

I love and miss my Granny.  She was a wealth of information and stories about our family.  I started researching our ancestry several years ago, and couldn't believe the amount of information she had.  All so crisp and clear, like it was yesterday.  And fun stories that left me laughing.  And sad stories, and even tragedy.

The roots keep the tree growing, though.  A branch may be affected by drought or storm, but it will recover.  A leaf may be gone, but it always is part of the tree.  It falls to the base and grows back into the tree.  We have a big, strong tree.  Indeed.

no kleenex

Today was the 5th grade celebration for our youngest son.  I had fun, delivering the pizzas, helping serve food, watching the kids dance.  As the slideshow started, I sat down, ready to enjoy the pictures and smile.  I did smile and enjoy the pictures.  But in the few moments of quiet during the slideshow, I became overwhelmed with emotion.  Pride, happiness, joy...and the feeling that so much has happened in the last couple of years, and God I hope I'm doing this right.  So much loss, but so much gain...I hope I'm helping grow my children into kind, successful, loving people.  We've experienced so much in the last couple of years.  I lost my dad, lost my home, almost lost my marriage, had a miscarriage...it all hit me at once.  Life kept right on walking, running sometimes, and I pray that along the way I showed my children a strong, loving woman.  I know I showed weakness at times, and sometimes I dwell on that, but I try to trust in my strength, trust in God, embrace the blessings He's given me, and enjoy this journey...and focus on strength.  I watched my son enjoying his friends, I danced, I laughed...I did all of these things today.  Thank you, God.  Thank you.

what is it?

Is it hormones?  Is it burnout?  I don't know, but I know I'm tired.  Summer is on its way and I can't wait!  Today was one of those days - Florida rain eliminating the possibility of me being motivated to do anything.  Anything.

In true Florida fashion, we pulled off the end of year party for my oldest daughter's Girl Scouts troop.  Swim, swim in the rain, looking for lightning.  There never was any.  Enjoyed a Latin feast...girls had a fun trivia game, got their awards, it all wrapped up, and I question why I want to look forward to wrapping up the school year...like summer.  That means that a school year has wrapped up, and it's all going by so fast.  Is that really something we want to rush?  I think not.  I do think summer is worth looking for, don't get me wrong.  But it means I'm rushing away the stuff that keeps us busy, and sometimes busy is a good thing.  I can assure you my kind of busy is a good thing.  Thank you, 594, for making our lives more fun, more beautiful...and to our leader, Sam, who I cannot say enough about.  Girl Scouts RULE.  I love these girls.  I love love love  love love them.  Without a doubt!